Introverts are notoriously private individuals who enjoy spending time alone and often avoid loud or chaotic social settings. These qualities can be frustrating for extroverts who thrive on socializing with others. It’s particularly frustrating when they don’t seem to miss you as much as you miss them.
It’s not always easy being friends with someone who enjoys spending time on their own. Sometimes you may easily piss off an introvert. This article will offer several practical tips that can help you foster a meaningful relationship with your introverted friend, thus increasing the chances that they’ll begin to miss you as much as you miss them.
1. Text Your Introvert Friend Instead Of Calling
Introverts tend to spend a lot of time self-reflecting, daydreaming, and enjoying alone time. Disrupting these activities with phone calls or video chat requests is bound to make your introvert friend feel annoyed or intruded upon.
For that reason, it’s best to communicate via text messaging or email (in the workplace) more than by calling.
This form of communication gives introverts plenty of time to read your message, think about it, and formulate a response that they’re comfortable with.
However, you’ll want to avoid excessive texting or emailing. Sending several messages every hour is a surefire way to make an introvert feel overwhelmed. When this happens, they may opt to ignore your attempts to communicate.
2. Communicate Consistently But Not Excessively
A daily or weekly check-in can make introverts feel appreciated and cared for. That said, excessive communication can have the opposite effect.
Toeing the line between consistent and excessive communication can be challenging, especially if you’re an extrovert. That said, you can use your introvert friend’s responses to gauge whether you’re communicating too much or just enough.
If you receive quick responses to your messages, they’re likely engaged in the conversation. If their responses begin to grow delayed or cease, it’s time to take a step back and be patient.
You can try to reignite the conversation the next day.
3. Pursue Shared Interests Regularly
One of the most effective ways to make an introvert miss you when you’re not around is to pursue shared interests with them as often as possible. For example, if your friend enjoys watching a particular television show, you could offer to watch that show with them.
You can also offer to play your friend’s favorite games with them, read books that they enjoy, or participate in outdoor activities that appeal to your introvert friend . Establishing fond memories associated with an introvert’s interests can make them think of you when they’re participating in their favorite activities.
That said, it’s crucial to avoid feeling disappointed or angry if the introvert turns down your offer to enjoy shared hobbies. Instead, be patient and try offering a different option and see how they respond.
It’s also worthwhile to suggest one-on-one hangouts and activities.
However, it’s good to note that introverts recharge their “batteries” through time alone each day, and will run out of steam long before you will, especially during social situations. If you want to pursue a shared interest with your introvert friend, make sure they aren’t going full steam ahead before or after spending time with you, so they can recharge and rest.
4. Offer to Spend Quality Time One-on-One
Hanging out as part of a large group can make introverts feel uncomfortable or anxious. If introverts associate you with these highly social settings, they may not miss you.
Try to spend one-on-one time with introverts instead of inviting them to group activities and events whenever possible. For example, an introvert is far more likely to appreciate a quiet evening reading together than accompanying you to a crowded party full of people they don’t know.
5. Be Patient When Asking Personal Questions
Getting to know an introvert requires patience and time.
Introverts may be uncomfortable opening up to people that they’ve known for a short time, making it challenging for you to get to know them better.
If you’re determined to ask questions about personal topics like their childhood, hobbies, or career, do so respectfully and give the introvert all the time they need to respond. If you just move on to the next question after several minutes it may make the introvert feel like you don’t care about their response.
6. Never Rush Them to Make Quick Decisions
Patience is also vital when asking an introvert to make a decision.
Introverts live very much inside their own minds and often need to work through their own process to come to a decision. Many extroverts discuss their decision-making process with others and may find introverts’ silence frustrating.
Introverts prefer to have plenty of time to make decisions, weighing the pros and cons of a situation to arrive at a suitable solution. This tendency can be frustrating, especially if you’re comfortable making impulsive or quick decisions.
You can make simple questions easier for introverts by offering a small selection of options. For example, when asking an introvert where they’d like to eat for lunch, try suggesting two to four restaurants.
Your introvert friend may respond more quickly than if allowed to consider all potential options.
7. Gifts Go a Long Way
The smallest gestures take up the most room in one’s heart. So, don’t shy away from expressing your affection towards a soul with your little gestures.
Introverts do like it when they’re given a gift by a person close to them. It definitely makes them feel special. However, no points for guessing, they hate surprises, especially one that is thrown with a group of friends and relatives who aren’t really close to them.
Do remember that if you want to gift your friend, make sure it is a thoughtful token and a personalized one.
8. Try to See the World From Their Perspective
Making an introvert miss you often means being able to see the world from their perspective. But, of course, if you’re a naturally outgoing and social person, understanding an introvert’s point of view can be challenging.
But educational resources about introvert psychology are readily available online.
Try reading articles about introvert characteristics, likes, and dislikes to understand introverted personalities. Armed with a deeper understanding you will find it easier to empathize with your introverted partner.
9. Avoid Manipulating an Introvert
Why are you trying to get an introvert to miss you? If your answer is anything but, “Because I care about them and want to spend more time with them,” you’ll want to rethink your priorities.
If your intentions aren’t coming from a place of respect, caring, or love, your friend is likely to see through your attempts and recognize them for what they are, which are manipulation techniques.
No one likes to feel manipulated, so you’ll want to always act from a place of kindness. Unsure whether you’re being manipulative?
Common warning signs of manipulation include:
- Making others feel guilty when they turn down the opportunity to spend time with you
- Getting angry with others when you disagree with what they say
- Ignoring others as a means of punishing them
Introverts may be reclusive, but you can make them miss your presence by understanding their needs which may be different from your own. Try to share as much one on one time as you can and avoid forcing the introvert into situations that make them uncomfortable. After all, it’s easy to miss someone who respects your needs and shares activities that you most enjoy.