Look! I get it.
You’re struggling with letting go of something that isn’t serving you anymore. It is difficult. And the only solution you’re getting from others are:
Hey, just drop those thoughts. Let it go. Take a chill pill. Go with the flow buddy.
Duh, no shit sherlock! I know that. But, how do I do that? How do I actually let go?
I’m sure, just like me, you might have lost count on how many times you’ve heard the above advices.
No one tells you how to actually do it. Trust me, I’ve been in the same place too. Yes, it sucks!
But you know what:
Let’s explore it together. In this article, I am going to explore some of the ways that have worked for me from my experiences that might probably be useful to you. But, let me give you a direct answer.
In general, there are countless ways which can help you let go, and ease the pain but the most effective one is to face what you want to let go, head on. One must patiently and regularly reflect on it, surrender to it and face it fully with all their strength.
Before going in-depth, let’s understand
Why Do You Need to Let Go ?
Letting go of something that no longer serves you can liberate you and uplift you. It frees up space for new, more beneficial things to enter your life. Once you let go, whatever was weighing you down dissolves, and you become free and light.
But , this idea of surrender and embracing the unknown is what draws us in the state of fear. And to escape the fear, we all tend to fall back to our comfort zone. Clenching and holding on tightly to relationships, friendships, jobs, and even bad habits that no longer serve us.
Why? Because it is probably the easiest thing to do.
However, the thing is:
Holding on to what no longer serves you prevents you from living the life you want to live. It can be a career path, situation, relationship, project, hobby, belief, behavior, an object, or a habit etc.
You have to realize that often you outgrow certain things in your life. And you might not even be aware of it! Maybe you’re attracting something better that deserves your attention. And in the process of holding on, you’re disregarding and disavowing what really deserved your attention at that point.
So, how do you do it?
This is How You Let Go Of What No Longer Serves You
Have Conversations with Yourself
You need to start with yourself. Start by asking yourself the difficult questions that you were afraid of answering. Be honest, face the reality with your full power and write down whatever comes to your mind.
Many people shy away from this because it can be uncomfortable. However, I believe this is where the greatest growth potential lies. Next, you must reflect on the thing that has happened from a variety of perspectives to allow yourself to gain a better understanding. There are three parts:
• First, look at what has happened from your perspective
• Second, look at things from the perspective of the other person
• Third, imagine you are an alien zooming in on the earth, who is just observing everything without judgement. A third person perspective.
Note down everything and silently reflect on them. These internal discussions are supposed to be challenging so we can learn and expand our comfort zone. Don’t beat around the bush or sell yourself short when doing this because no one is watching. The reward is that you face your fears head on and learn to accept things as they are.
By frequently doing this exercise, you’ll gradually see yourself loosen your grip on thoughts/things that didn’t serve you. Ultimately, you’ll let go.
Recommended Read: 22 fulfilling hobbies for introverts helping you let go.
Relax, Take a Deep Breath, and Surrender
Before you proceed further, take a moment and take deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling slowly.
Here is a guided meditation to calm you down.
Surrender yourself to the present moment.
See yourself facing the thing you feared. Observe the void that is creeping in. Ask the universe to fill you up with positive emotions.
Affirm to yourself that it is okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Observe the situation/fear slowly fading away. Believe and entrust yourself that you will find a way, you will find a solution to your thing that is holding you back.
When you decide to let go of things that don’t serve you, you’ll find that the void will be filled.
When you let go of the things that drain your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual resources, life provides you with the same lifeline.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” — Buddha
Open Yourself to Possibilities
Start looking at the bigger picture.
In our linear thinking, we miss out on a lot of the magic and serendipity that life has to offer.
Because of its focus on the enigmatic, the cosmos functions on a multidimensional scale. This implies that things will happen at their own pace, rather than according to your schedule.
Open yourself up to new experiences by being receptive and receptive to the unforeseen. Why want to live a life that is dull and uninteresting?
The monotony of doing the same things day after day is something that many people complain about, and it’s easy to understand why. People who refuse to believe in synchronicities are missing out on the endless possibilities that are open to them when they let go of control over how their lives should develop and let go of expectations.
“Time doesn’t heal emotional pain, you need to learn how to let go.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Every circumstance becomes a mystery and fills with synchronicity when you approach life from this vantage point. It is better to enter from a position of openness that is seeded with unlimited possibilities, rather than being fixated on your own agenda, which dictates how things should unfold in your life.
You never know what life is going to turn out to be until it presents itself to you.
It is possible for events and situations to unfold, but only if we are able to separate ourselves from the situation psychologically and emotionally. Your life will be filled with more happiness, calm, and satisfaction if instead, you let go of your need for control and allow yourself to be thankful for whatever comes your way.
Start Small, Create the Right Intentions, Give Yourself Time
You must start small and create the right intentions in order to let go.
Give yourself time. Prioritize on things that truly gives you happiness.
You’ll discover that you’re more focused on the things that truly count when you start looking long-term . As you make place for the significant things in your life, you’ll begin to see their significance. You’ll naturally gravitate toward situations like these since they provide you with happiness, tranquilly, and contentment.
It’s a lot like changing your diet to include more nutritional fare instead of junk food when you start a workout regimen. During this time, you may also want to engage in some physical activity to help you become more conscious of how good you feel as you continue on your path.
It’s time to let go of the need to change things that nobody else wants to change, and instead focus on embracing a new life. By letting go of things that no longer serve you, you’ll feel liberated and free. You’ll find peace in your new lifestyle.
“I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbyeYann Martel, Life of Pi